Neo-Futurarium VIII: Legend of The Neo-Futurarium

They're so bad, they couldn't get any better. The Neo-Futurists will proudly present their renditions of the best worst films ever made. With a shoe-string budget and some special guest artists, their eighth-annual series tackles urban rebels, lounge singers, demons, assassins, fairies and the gays. It Came From the Neo-Futurarium VIII: Legend of The Neo-Futurarium runs June 25 through July 30, Thursdays at 8:00 p.m. at 5153 N. Ashland.

This year's roster of films and artists:

June 25: Cool As Ice (1991)
Before Eminem, but after the Beastie Boys, there was Vanilla Ice. The original high-haired, Queen-cribbing 90s hip-hop legend stars as a tough-yet-tender urban rebel who, along with his posse, lands in a small middle American town that is unprepared for this new level of “street”. Dina Connolly directs and stars as Vanilla, in a film that will rock your mike like a vandal.

July 2: Cruising (1981)
Gay men weren't always your wacky neighbors and sexually non-threatening best friends. In the early 1980s, Cruising exposed this dark and creepy world of perversion, seduction and horror. Al Pacino stars as an undercover homicide detective in New York City who dangles dangerously close to gayness himself while tracking a serial killer on the gay scene. Jack Tamburri of The Plagiarists directs this controversial suspense film about influence and panic.

July 9: Screaming Mimi (1958)
When buxom Swedish blonde, Anita Ekberg, is attacked by an escaped mental patient, she is driven into a state of breathy hysteria. The only cure can be found at the former mental hospital of her attacker where she becomes the love slave of a creepy psychiatrist. Lounge singing, stalkers, screaming statues and plunging bustlines complicate this noir-ish-esque-ploitation, directed by Rachel Claff.

July 16: The Naked Killer (Chik loh go yeung) (1992)
The twisted love story of a seductive assassin and the tortured police detective hot on her trail is directed by Neo-Futurist Founding Director, Greg Allen. This film is a rampaging riot of fetishistic softcore sex and mindless hardcore mayhem, complete with badly performed English overdub of badly written dialogue.

July 23: Equinox (1970)
The visual effects designer of Star Wars didn't always produce work of that caliber when he created the creature effects for this cautionary tale of curious teenagers who explore dark spooky caves and are hunted by demon park rangers. Directed by Bob Stockfish, Equinox features live effects only slightly lower-tech than the original.

July 30: Legend (1986)
Just your typical girl-loves-boy, boy-loves-girl, boy-shows-girl-his-unicorns, girl-gets-unicorns-captured-by-Lord-of-Darkness story. Directed by Dana Dardai of Camenae Ensemble, Legend seamlessly blends together fairies, goblins, random lines spoken in rhyming couplet, dancing dresses, and endless clouds of magical debris.

Tickets for It Came From the Neo-Futurarium VIII: Legend of The Neo-Futurarium are $10 and may be purchased at www.neofuturists.org.