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Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the theater...! The Neo-Futurists proudly present their sixth-annual series of staged readings of some of the most obscure, trashy, goofy, bizarre, cheesy, and all-around terrible film scripts of all time! These immensely popular one-night-only readings feature some of the best worst films ever made, brought to life on a shoestring budget by The Neo-Futurists and a host of acclaimed guest artists. It Came From The Neo-Futurarium VI: Curse of The Neo-Futurarium! runs June 21 through July 26, Thursdays at 8:00 p.m. at 5153 N. Ashland. This year’s roster of films and artists:
June 21, 2007: Xanadu (1980)
Xanadu? Xana-don’t! Remember when Olivia Newton-John starred in this musical fantasy as a roller-skating, legwarmer-wearing, otherworldly muse who inspires her Earthly lover, Sonny, to open a disco roller rink? With Gene Kelly? Don’t lie; you remember the ELO title track. This time... SING ALONG! Neo-Futurist Phil Ridarelli (Red Dawn, Single White Female) directs, and the audience provides the soundtrack! (Projected lyrics and bouncing ball provided free of charge.)
June 28, 2007: DreamQuest (2000) **RATED NC-17**
She came to save fantasy! What happens when a hard-core porno is staged by a notable children’s theater troupe? (Besides hell freezing over?) Please don’t bring the kiddies to this Jenna Jameson masterpiece in which our heroine travels to an alternate universe to rescue fantasy from the clutches of an evil demon. How will she do it? Who will she do it with? Directed by Barrel of Monkeys Artistic Director Halena Kays and Monkey/Neo-Futurist Jonathan Mastro, and performed by the ready and willing Barrel of Monkeys!
July 5, 2007: Mesa of Lost Women (1953)
Beautiful... kissable... lovable... but deadlier than a Black Widow spider! A harrowing tale of science run amok in the Muerto Desert (“muerto” means death!), where the villainous Dr. Aranya (“aranya” means spider... sort of!) surgically enhances buxom women with the brains of spiders. Crash-landed, confused, and dogged by a really bad soundtrack, how can our protagonists possibly prevail? Directed by Camenae Ensemble’s Dana Dardai.
July 12, 2007: Madame X (1966)
There was always a man... there was never a name! An adulteress accidentally kills her lover! Her mother-in-law blackmails her to fake her death! She gets addicted to absinthe and ends up in Mexico! Another blackmailer drags her to New York! She murders the blackmailer! She goes on trial! And her public defender turns out to be... ??? Neo-Futurist David Kodeski (Susan Slade, Back Street) and Edward Thomas-Herrera (Sorority Girl, Tormented) aim a one-two directorial punch at this warhorse of a re-re-re-remade Lana Turner melodrama!
July 19, 2007: Afterschool Specialicious -- TRIPLE FEATURE!
Learn, care, and share ‘til you puke! First, Gemma Cooper-Novack and Will Act for Food present The 18th Emergency (1974), which teaches you how to deal with the school bully. Then intermission (please put your heads down on your desks). Next, Hell in a Handbag member Merrie Greenfield directs Hey, What About Me? (1987), helping you cope with the new baby in your family, and When Mom and Dad Break Up (1987), so you know how Alan Thicke and Orko from He-Man might handle divorce. Feel better now?
July 26, 2007: The Ten Commandments (1956)
The Greatest Event in Motion Picture History! We figured we’d go out with a bang this year. Or at least an Exodus. Moses heroically delivers his people out of Egypt for approximately one-100th of the original budget! Bob Stockfish (Fantastic Voyage) directs this epic story with a cast of thousands (okay, tens), including Neo-Futurists Sean Benjamin as Moses, Moses, Moses, Stephanie Shaw as Nefertiri, Steve Mosqueda as Pharaoh, and Diana Slickman as Memnet!
Tickets are $10, $8 for students with ID, and $2-off for repeat customers. For tickets or information, visit www.neofuturists.org or call 773-275-5255.