Fox Valley Rep is holding auditions for No Way To Treat A Lady by Douglas Cohen. Directed by John Gawlik, Choreographed by Christie Kerr, Music Direction by Jeffrey Poindexte.

This theatrically charged musical comedy thriller about a publicity crazed actor turned killer and the endearing detective who pursues him is based on the best selling novel that became a renowned movie. It is a devilish blend of humor, romance and murder with four meaty roles, two requiring great versatility: the killer adopts a myriad of disguises including a tango instructor, French waiter, female barfly and priest while one actress plays the detective's mother, the killer's mother and three of his victims.

Seeking four actors (2 Women, 2 Men)

ALL ROLES AVAILABLE:

MORRIS BRUMMELL - 30s-40s; fairly well built; a man of physical strength who hasn't quite figured out how to use it to his advantage. Although he is far from being classically handsome, Morris' looks are appealing and he possesses a warm, inviting smile and "mensch"-like presence. Even though he lives with his mother, he should not be a typical "mama's boy." Kit unleashes a darker, more ambitious side to Morris' personality, but one should be careful not to go too far: after all, Morris is the hero of the show.

CHRISTOPHER "KIT" GILL - 30s-40s; Kit is athletic and agile with exceptionally strong hands. His youthful, almost angelic face masks his demonic tendencies. For Kit, murder is the ultimate performance and not a gruesome exercise. An actor oozing with charm is essential if the audience is to be seduced along with his victims. Kit is all about style and panache - like John Barrymore. Everything he knows about life is as a result of watching theatre. His performance should demonstrate he is a musical comedy performer gone awry. The actor playing Kit Gill disguises himself as seven other characters within the course of the play: an Irish priest, an Arthur Murray dance class instructor, a French waiter, a telephone repairman, a pizza delivery messenger, a New York cop, and a female barfly.

SARAH STONE - 30s; svelte; attractive; sunny; funny; sophisticated. She is a modern-day Carole Lombard. Sarah, on the surface, has led a "charmed" existence, but on closer examination one can read the painful lessons of the past.

FLORA BRUMMELL/VICTIMS (ALEXANDRA GILL, CARMELLA, SADIE, MRS. SULLIVAN) - More than sharing an obvious physical resemblance, these women are all mature, strong and maternal. Yet in the case of Flora and Alexandra, their "maternal" instincts are sometimes questionable. Alexandra is guilty of giving Kit too little love (the theatre is her one and only love), while Flora is guilty of lavishing too much attention on Morris. Both women at times belittle their sons, robbing them of their pride and self-confidence. Flora does this for self-preservation: if Morris continues to depend on her, she will never be alone. The actress playing the character woman portray five different women: Det. Morris Brummell's Jewish mother; Kit Gill's legendary actress-mother, Alexandra Gill; an Irish widow; an Italian former Queen of the Roseland Ballroom; and a lonely barfly.